Saving A Relationship

Most people do all the wrong things after a breakup. They call and text constantly, they get mad and defensive, and they just convince their ex that they did the right thing breaking up with them.  If you want to know how to save a relationship, it's actually as much about what you don't do as what you do.

First things first, why did the two of you breakup?  Many people will say they don't know, but that's probably not true. The reality is that not too many relationships just end for no reason, there are almost always signs and problems ahead of  time and more than likely quite a few fights.

You may find it easier to say you don't know if you are the one who is mostly responsible for the problems.  If you don't own up to what you did to end the relationship nothing will ever change and even if your ex does agree to give it another try, it will only fail again.

After you've figured out what went wrong, you have to try to figure out what you can do to fix it.  What changes can you make to prevent the problems from happening again, and how can you convince your ex that you've really changed?

One thing that might work well is if you get some type of help. You can either find a self help book or talk to a counselor, but there is a good chance that if you do that your ex will see how serious you are and be more willing to try.

Neither one of you wants to just meet to talk things over and have it end up in a screaming fight.  That is no fun for anyone.  In order to avoid that you have to try to understand where your ex is coming from.  That's not the same as agreeing with them, it just means that you can see how they may think of something in a certain way.  

If the two of you can get to the point that you can see the other persons point of view, even though you may not really agree with it, you have a real shot of making your relationship work.

Don't make your relationship hard, learn how to communicate and how to honestly try to figure out the problems and you will never have to ask the question 'how do I save my relationship' again.